I Don’t Deserve You – 4 :
Play “Sister Golden Hair” by America to set the mood. It’s just for a nice mood for the following segment. Yeah, I know you’re a brunette, but just go with it.
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So, I’ve seen you made a few dating profiles on a few websites. Now, I have to ask the following question: Are you insane?! How many times do I have to repeat myself? You’re an attractive woman! I seriously find it hard to believe you haven’t found the right guy yet. Now granted, you’ve dated once before. That may have colored a negative light on relationships for you. Still, I don’t believe you can look me in the eye and tell me that there aren’t at least three single guys you know in your circle of friends that would go out with you. You’re a charmingly beautiful woman with a more gorgeous heart.
You’d be doing any guy a favor to even have just one date with you. Anyone who is even around you would know of your luminous grace. So, don’t go out to the reaches of cyberspace to a site where only vapid, distorted depictions of beauty, suaveness, or really any term of attractiveness that those creeps use to hide behind their own worlds of vainglorious, egotistical detritus. You’re better than that. You might be waiting for Mr. Right to come around the corner, but I really think you’d be surprised who could be a real unexpected catch if you asked anyone in your immediate physical reach.
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Of course, given your questionable practice of simply abandoning old accounts instead of deleting them means that I may have been reading old, irrelevant content. You might already be in a relationship, or simply not interested in relationships at the moment. The latter scenario would question your current fascination with parenting if you won’t take the first step to starting such a life, but I digress.
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I thought that with this seemingly harmless observance of your online activities I thought maybe I will work the courage to go ask you out. I thought I would be so clever to perhaps coincidentally (wink wink) participate in activities of your liking, for example taking long walks in parks or going out to a nice Italian restaurant.
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I would’ve been okay with anything except for skating. By Zeus, I would prefer anything to skating. I would’ve gone to a wrestling match with you, despite my dismissal of said activity as a fake sport. I would’ve gone and watched all the crappy Rom-Coms that plague every theater since time immemorial. Hell, I would’ve done something I wouldn’t have expected you to like, like going to cockfights or something. Alright, fine. That last activity was something I know you wouldn’t like, but anything other than skating is my point of my little story here.