I Don’t Deserve You – 2 : Story Continued from: I Don’t Deserve You

I just want to go on record saying that while I found you attractive- and I still do at times -I am somehow not thrown completely out of whack to know that you sure as hell won’t be winning any beauty contests. That nose of yours could really use some straightening up, since it looks like it was smooshed by some wall from a few years back. Do you not have the means to buy some decent shampoo and conditioner to rein in that hair of yours? I see so many split ends and stray hairs everywhere that if you wore a bum’s clothes, I’d think you were that indigent. The most glaring physical feature I see is when you’re not smiling, your face seems to express one of two expressions: sad or angry. Of course, I saved the biggest flaw for last: your short stature. I’m like 6 feet 4 inches tall, and you’re what, like 5 feet tall? Still, there was an attractive hold you had on me despite your homunculus build. I thought to myself “How the hell could I be in love with such a woman? It’d be a struggle to kiss each other since I’d have to crouch or she’d have to climb a ladder of sorts. If I did do impossible and have a relationship with this woman, she’d only have me around as a human cherry picker. If I really wanted to date diminutive beings, I’d date some distant relative from my mother’s side of the family.” I could spend the rest of my time taking cheap shots at your shortness, but I won’t this cruel anymore, I promise. I only wanted to tell you that I know you’re not the most attractive woman in the world, especially given the customer base at our workplace, which can sometimes bring in quite the number of lookers in there. Nevertheless, in the face of more attractive women coming in and out of that establishment, you beat them all in terms of getting me hooked on to you since your aforementioned physical flaws, combined with the lack of makeup which I must give kudos because you don’t hide anything and good on you, combined with the good parts of you make me feel that I’m seeing a real, raw beauty in my midst. I’d like to know more about you, but since I’m the most depraved, decrepit, unbelievably timid and awkward guy in the world, I took the coward’s way of knowing you.

 

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