true loveTo introduce myself, I am Niksa (Name changed). I am narrating my 100% true story which I don’t know that whether I should call a love story at all. I am writing this story to seek your opinion and take the most important decision of my life. If you are interested in masala Only, its time you shift to another story because it’s not a masala story at all. This story has been narrated on 26th feb,2012. I shall narrate the story in three phases:
The story starts five years back when I entered my engineering college. It is one of the best IITs in India. I entered as a innocent child unaware of the practical life outside Physics, chemistry and Maths books. Those were good old Orkut days and I met one of my friend’s friend on orkut. Lets call her Nisha. We had never met each other. Our friendship (rather animosity) started because of brawls over profile visits. However, in course of time, because of mediation by our common friend, our animosity ended and by the end of my first semester, I and Nisha became good friends and started having frequent chats on Gmail. We even had chats on phone sometimes. Slowly but steadily, I started liking her. Though Not in the way lovers love each other, because probably I was too innocent to understand Love. May be I should call that it was more of an infatuation. However, I didn’t realize this and misunderstood this as Love.
proposalAs a result, by the end of my first year in April 2008, I decided to propose Nisha. Once I was having message talk with her and she sent typical girly forwards asking how I found her. I replied but asked a rhetorical question that how did she find me? (This wasn’t in shayarana andaaz typical of forwarded messages.) She was taken aback. And then in the mid of the night at my home, I proposed her. She accepted. (We hadn’t met yet!!)
We started having more and more of talks on phone. Mind you, I hadn’t met her yet. Then, I entered my second year whence I joined the fest organizing committee and got busy with the fest organization work of my college. I started finding her talks boring and kind of didn’t quite like talking to her. At the same time, back home, an incident occurred which made me feel no scope for relationship.
One of my distant but local cousins wanted to marry a boy from a different caste. She was criticized vehemently among the family members and my family members went to the extent of saying that she has disrepute the entire family in the town.
Watching all this, I decided to neglect Nisha and stopped talking with her. Anyways, I was too busy with the fest work and hence, didn’t find it too hard to forget her. She used to send some sentimental long messages but I tried to ignore her for the better future of both of us. She used to send messages and sometimes even call me during next 4 years to come. This brings us to the end of first phase of my story.
After the fest work got over, during my summer vacations internship after second year in 2009, I found another girl on yahoo chat. She was kinda reserved, introvert but hugely innocent. Her introvertness meant, we chatted rather rarely. once I asked her number when I was going away and wouldn’t have had internet access. However, she refused. I still gave her my number.
Probably then she tried to call me once. To cut the story short, crux was that we became good friends but then again this time, i started liking her. Let’s call her Priya. By now, I was 20 and realized that I was in LOVE!! Probably for the first time, true Love!! So, I decided to propose her and proposed her on her b’day. This time even without seeing her photo!!!.
I proposed her. She didn’t agree. She didn’t agree for more than a year. In the mean time, I went some 1500 KMs always to meet her twice!! I met her sister-in-law, she rejected because I was not of same caste as theirs. After this fiasco, at the end of my third year, I went for my internship abroad in Canada. I missed Priya a lot and used to call her sometimes from Canada as well!.. She missed me as well. After my return from Canada, our phone talks resumed (which had almost stopped after the rejection of her sister-in-law). Finally on the day of Diwali, 05th November 2010, I proposed her again.She accepted!
We became couples and I went to her town of residence nearly 1500 KMs away 3 times in 4 months. Mind you, our love was still pure that is I didn’t even kiss her.
After end of my engineering in April 2011, I left my job and went to Delhi for civil services preparation. I could not give her sufficient time and thus, misunderstandings started propping up. On her b’day in August 2011, I slept at night and when I woke up at 1am, I called her. She had slept, her brother picked up. Usually because of her parents, she had the habit of not saying anything at time whenever she used to be at home. I felt this time to be a similar situation and wished her and kept talking to her like sweetheart, dear etc… Next day, her brother made it clear that she had to leave me. Still, since she had joined an MBA college, we kept talking very less though. But some problems emerged because of me not being able to give sufficient time and brawls over her brother’s patronage. Finally we decided to break up in Sept, 2011. End of Phase II
I became alone. Meanwhile since Nisha was also from Delhi, I met her. (We had met her before twice when I was in fourth year. I had felt a pang of affection for her but not that i wanted to dump Priya then.) Because of break up with Priya, I was in emotional instability. I and Nisha went for a movie where she got emotional and I touched her hand for the first time. I felt electrified! While coming out, I hugged her. We went for same movie after one week and hugged again, this time more tightly! She provided me emotional support and that attracted me towards her. We started spending some time together. I dont know if I loved her, but liked her company. She STILL Loves me the way she did all these four years!! I am too overwhelmed by her love and every time I meet her, I feel weak. Things followed and I snagged with her in Feb 2012 in the mid of a movie!! First kiss of my Life! I feel I love her as well (probably because she loves me whole heartedly)..but am not sure if she would ever be able to replace Priya in my thoughts.
confusedMeanwhile, I am also in chats with Priya sometimes on phone, BUT only as a good friend. She loves me as well. Problem with both of them is that none of them are from my caste and my parents would feel bad if I marry any of them!
Priya : I am in chats with her as good friend, though sometimes I feel pangs of love and thats precisely the moment when I stop talking saying good night so that she shudn’t feel my love. Probably, I still love her innocence a lot.
Nisha: I meet her sometimes, though haven’t met her after the Kiss incident. I feel bad about having taken a step without putting in sufficient amount of thought into it. She feels that we crossed limit as well. Still, she is madly in love with me.
MILLION DOLLAR QUESTIONS
1. Whom should I accept? Nisha, Priya or none?
2. Whether I would be able to forgive myself for the kiss if I marry someone else?
3. What about my Love for Priya?
4. Most Important – What will Nisha do if she comes to know that I don’t exactly love her, but like her a lot because of her love?